People ask why we’ve created an exclusionary dating site. This
is a valid question that deserves a valid answer.
“Why limit the dating
experience to only certain races? Isn’t that, in itself, racist?”
Sisters and White Misters doesn’t discriminate on the basis
of color. Anyone is welcome to join the group. However, we offer our services
primarily to these pairings because it can be difficult for black women and
white men to connect through more generalized dating sites.
Black women who are attracted to white men are often
criticized both by black men and by other black women. They may have a
difficult time finding a mate, as racial preferences often go unanswered on
dating sites. When preferences are disclosed, they’re often at the bottom of
the profile and can thus provide a hurtful realization to a sister who has
already read through it and felt a connection. Sisters and White Misters offers
a space for black women to converse with white men without having to wonder if
the men will discredit them based on their race.
White men who are attracted to black women face equal
difficulties. Going into a dating situation, a man doesn't know if a black woman
prefers men of her own race, and a white man interested in black women may be considered “creepy” or of having a
“Massa” complex. While same race dating is a completely valid choice,
interracial dating is just as valid. In fact, we question whether innate
attraction is really a choice at all.
“What’s the big deal?
Interracial dating is so common now.”
At our first event, an African woman came on her own. “Mrs.
X”, as we’ll call her, met Mr. X at a gas station in Central California. She is
very dark with beautiful dreadlocks that cascade down her back. Mr. X is a
light-skinned white man from Germany. The two fell in love, but their journey
has not been without prejudice from others.
Mr. and Mrs. X often receive disapproving glances from
passersby. Sometimes black men will come up to Mrs. X and call her a traitor to
her race. Mrs. X joined the group because she wants a safe place where her
choice of partner is not a subject of speculation or ridicule, and where she
can simply be one of the crowd. After the first event, Mr. X joined her and
they’re able to be physically affectionate without wondering if those in their
company will be offended by their relationship.
“What if I’m
attracted to all kinds of men/women?”
Our site is for certain races of certain sexes to find each
other, but we know that attraction often exists on a broad spectrum. Sisters
and White Misters helps facilitate one kind of connection, but it does not
propose that black women / white men pairings are better than any other type.
“So what’s the bottom
line?”
Sisters and White Misters brings together people with
similar interests, just as many other dating services. There are groups for
outdoor enthusiasts, wine tasters, and gamers. While Sisters and White Misters
was designed specifically for white men and black women to meet, it is not an
exclusionary group. Our mission is to bring people together, not to alienate
them. Through creating a space for interracial dating without judgment, we’re
supporting integration, not exclusion.
Check out our group
here.
Yours in Love,
Shannon
